It used to be easier.

Being "happy", that is.

Being happy used to be easier. And, when I say “happy”, what I really refer to is something that more closely approximates the implied meaning of the word “okay,” or something along those lines. Before the internet (and even still for those who are not chronically online), people used to just…live.

Whether we’re aware of it or believe it or not, the fact of the matter is that life, your entire existence, is almost entirely nothing more than a happenstance thing. You just are what you are. You do what you do. You didn’t decide your life’s circumstances, genetics, neurobiology, or any of the things that make you and your life unique to you. It’s all happenstance.

For centuries, all we did was mostly (and more easily) act on those very innate proclivities, tendencies, predispositions, and notions without further inquiry, or at least rarely so. Because, see, inquiry is where the conflict arises. Where the cognitive dissonance and the displeasure come from. Because of the internet—because of search engines, Twitter, facebook, TikTok, Reddit, and whatever else, we have a perpetually limitless stream of information.

As a result, we are prompted to continually search for and try on different perspectives, juxtapose ourselves, compare, contrast, what if, what about, why not this, why this, and on and on and on. it has created a nonstop internal analysis of ourselves and, for some of us, even a meta-analysis of that analysis. The whole time, we’re not even really in control. We’re analyzing ourselves and holding ourselves accountable, comparing and contrasting and assuming that we could have or could do or could be anything or anyone other than our wretched selves the whole time…we really have no choice.

At the end of the day, we just are what we are, and we’ll do what we’ll do. If you zoom out far enough to the point where humans begin to look like ants, this becomes incredibly obvious. The illusion of choice arises from the gap (which is thought, higher thinking, and the developed brain) between our instincts and our actions. The whole time, the thoughts that permeate that space aren’t even objectively chosen by us; they’re just as predetermined as everything else, and even if it feels like they’ve led us to an “informed” or “free” decision, it wasn’t truly our choice all along. that’s why i say, at the end of the day, we just are what we are, we do what we do.

And this constant analysis and juxtaposition and comparison and what iffing of ourselves in an effort towards perfection or improvement causes nothing but agony, dissonance, dissatisfaction, disassociation, depression, and more for most of us.